SPIRITUAL KINSHIP AND OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL

Just at the time in which it was relevant, I noticed my little book of homilies of Fr Daniel Sysoev, wedged into a gap between stacks of books in my cell – and it opened to a little homily on spiritual kinship.

In confession, I constantly encourage the faithful to labour to build their relationship and kinship with their guardian angel and the saint whose name they bear. Both are heavenly protectors who wish to be spiritual kin, and not ritual static figures in Orthodox spiritual identity.

As even a cursory glance at the canons and prayer to the Guardian Angel makes clear, our angelic companion has REAL influence over not only our actions, but also our minds, with all of their complications and problems, especially when we are afflicted by mental trials and temptations.

Just as God respects our freedom and will, and does not force or coerce us in the events and actions of life, neither do our guardian angels, but rather ever-vigilantly await our cries and calls for help, wanting us to align our will with that of God, who created both them and us. It is in this alignment and obedience to the Lord, and in knowing and pursuing our need for angelic assistance – the gift of God – that we are able to build bonds of kinship, regardless of time and space, physicality and immateriality.

Our Guardian Angel wants to be part of our life; to share in each hour day, as a sign of God’s love and care for us. But… we must want this for it to become an actualised reality.

Fr Daniel – a martyr for the Faith – wrote,

“The angels of God can be people’s friends, and, as we know, we share a friendship with our guardian angel, be it only to a small degree. I hope that we will all feel warmly toward our guardian angels, that we may try to greet them and pray to them, and that they will look after us. If we try to do good things with their help, it will give rise to that friendship that can blossom beyond the limits of time… Each person must find spiritual friendship which transcends both time and the difference between beings, between people and angels, so that we may enkindled together and glorify the Trinity, from whom we draw this strength.”

So… make sure that WITHOUT FAIL, you pray to your guardian angel EVERY day.

If you have time, don’t simply turn to the Canon to the Holy Guardian Angel when preparing for Holy Communion, but as often is possible.

If you have time to pray it every day, do so… and let each of us be mindful that we mistakenly turn to all manner of people first, in need, emergency and trouble, rather than turning to our guardian angel.

We need to correct ourselves and start reacting spiritually to the trials of life.

Our guardian angel is waiting to hear us – waiting to help in every trial and adversity.

Morning Prayer:

O Holy Angel, who standest by my wretched soul and my passionate life: do not abandon me, a sinner, neither depart from me because of my lack of self-control. Leave no room for the evil demon to gain control of me through the violence of this mortal body. Strengthen my weak and feeble hand, and instruct me in the path of salvation. O holy Angel of God, the guardian and protector of my wretched soul and body: forgive all the sorrows I have caused you, every day of my life. If I have sinned in this past night, protect me during this day. Keep me from every adverse temptation, that I may not anger God by any sin. Pray to the Lord for me, that He may establish me in His fear and make me, His servant, worthy of His goodness. Amen.

Evening Prayer:

O Angel of Christ, my holy guardian and protector of my soul and body, forgive me all wherein I have sinned this day, and deliver me from all opposing evil of mine enemy lest I anger my God by any sin. Pray for me, a sinful and unworthy servant, It that thou mayest show me forth worthy of the kindness and mercy of the All-holy Trinity, and of the Mother of my Lord Jesus Christ, and of all the saints. Amen.

Our Cardiff Parish’s Approaching Twelfth Birthday.

Our wonderful, growing and busy Cardiff parish of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia was founded in Bright Week 2011, so as we approach Pascha, we are coming to the end of our twelfth year!

So, our community will soon be a teenager, though hopefully without the more-challenging traits of teenage life.

What change has occurred during these twelve years, from the starting point of only having a monthly Saturday Liturgy celebrated by one of the cathedral clergy; the congregation almost exclusively 100% Slav; and the services only using English for the creed and Lord’s Prayer.

When we moved to Nazareth House and services became weekly, we saw an immediate change, and discovered the difference between those who thirsted for spiritual life and seized every chance for prayer, worship and the Holy Mysteries, and those who enjoyed the monthly Liturgies and sociable meal as an opportunity for Russians, Moldovans and Ukrainians to come together.

Our numbers initially fell, as the parish identity evolved with the changes in clergy and the initial blessing of services three or four times a week, in Nazareth House and Newman Hall.

And now…

Including our assistant priest, Archpriest Luke, we now have four parish clergy, services at least three times a week across our South Wales mission, and have made a spiritual impact on local people exploring Holy Orthodoxy – as attested to by our baptisms – with Patrick, Brigid and Mary baptised a little over a week ago; the enrolment of another catechumen last Sunday; two or three more baptisms later in the year; and the constant enquiries and arrival of students and other new people who feel welcome and at home in our friendly traditional community.

All of this is despite the fact that we still have no place of our own in the city; moving around due to covid (and even administered the Holy Mysteries in Cardiff after Liturgy in Llanelli); having to set up and put away every time we have a service; and whilst the clergy have to travel to and fro across South Wales, also serving in other places, with only the rector as a salaried priest.

Father Luke, of course, is retired from secular employment, but Deacon Mark and Hierodeacon Avraamy show great dedication, receiving no income from the parish!

Weekly services now see parishioners travel from Gloucestershire, Somerset and Wiltshire each week, as well as those who live on this side of the River Severn, and our services are now in English with a little bit of Welsh (hopefully to grow) as well as Church Slavonic.

We have worshipped in the Greek Church, Nazareth House, Llanelli during lockdown Newman Hall, St John’s, St Mary Butetown, and again in Nazareth House. And… despite nomadic life, the parish flourishes and grows!

Our congregation is still relatively small, usually having thirty-five to forty-five adults each Sunday, but given the vast geographical area in which parishioners live, we seldom have everyone in church at the same time.

We are heartened that those who come – with some more occasional friends of the parish driving for the midlands and west country – seeking maximalism and faithfulness to Sacred Tradition, and are not interested in diluted, liberal, renovationist alternatives to the fulness of the Church’s teaching and praxis.

Our Slav parishioners have shown great warmth, generosity and openness in embracing British people who have become such a dedicated part of our parish, as well as in their support of the three British clergy, and show the missionary spirit of ROCOR – particularly in this multi-national diocese.

We look forward to the next baptisms, to the task of teaching and nurturing those totally new to Orthodoxy, of Fr Avraamy’s hopefully permannent transferal to our diocese, to developing English and Welsh in our services – and above all to finding a building as an Orthodox temple, when God sees fit. Perhaps the parish’s teenage years will see this great and much needed development in our Welsh capital city!

Poday Gospodi! Grant this, O Lord.

The Sunday of St Mary of Egypt – Looking Ahead Through the Week…

Dear brothers and sisters,

Sunday numbers were a bit low in Cardiff, with the beginning of the Easter school holiday and illness impacting on parish attendance.

However, we still had thirty-five adults, including half a dozen crossing the border from England, as well as a few children.

It was a great joy to have Father Hierodeacon Avraamy back with us, after his assistance in the cathedral last weekend, and I very much appreciated the return to our now ‘normal’ celebration with two deacons!

Despite the slightly later end to Mass, our morning confessions progressed at a goodly pace, and it was possible to accommodate eight penitents during the hours.

It was a busy week of confessions, with Wednesday and Thursday dedicated to them, and on Wednesday we also chanted a moleben for the Brotherhood of the Holy Kiev Caves Lavra, as well as the four hour long matins with the Great Canon and life of St Mary of Egypt, whose Sunday was celebrated today.

Yesterday, was the penultimate Liturgy for the newly-baptised Mary (Germaine), soon to move to Pamplona with husband José, and we treated the day as an anticipated name-day for her, as it was the Lenten Sunday dedicated to her ‘angel’ – St Mary of Egypt.

It was a quiet and prayerful Liturgy, with the choir continuing to sing the prolonged Lenten melodies for the Liturgy of St Basil, with its longer priestly prayers. We are very grateful to our singers for their labours, especially as they rehearse for Pascha – with their singing sounding wonderful as we socialised at the back of the church.

The number of confessions for the week was reflected in the goodly number of those receiving the Holy Mysteries, and in a repeat of last week, it was wonderful to see those who had communed assembled on the left kliros after communion.

Worshippers enjoyed socialising over a ‘picnic’ after the service, and after spending some pastoral time with a few parishioners, it was my great joy to admit student, Joe, as a catechumen – so that his friend and fellow student, Kyle, is no longer the only one for whom we are praying in the Litany of the Catechemens! We look forward to the day when they will enter the fulness of Orthodoxy, through the Mystery of Holy Baptism.

Our three clergy and a group of Bridge-crossing parishioners relaxed in our nearby café after finishing the packing away and car-loading, and it was a welcome change for all three clergy to be part of the weekly café visit. I look forward to this social relaxation every week: a valuable time with our students and young people, as well as those needing coffee before their return to England.

The coming week is, of course, Holy Week for the Nazareth House community, so the chapel is very much in use at the end of the week, necessitating the hearing of confessions before 17:00 on Thursday, as the Mass of Maundy Thursday will be celebrated at 18:00. It will also be possible for us to hear confessions (if necessary) in Deacon Mark’s office in Morganstown at Saturday tea-time, on our return journey from celebrating Liturgy in Cheltenham for Lazarus Saturday.

Will those requiring confession please email me by noon on Wednesday?

Good Friday services in Nazareth House preclude the Orthodox celebration of the feast of the Annunciation, so our Divine Liturgy will now be celebrated in Llanelli in the Chapel of St David and St Nicholas at 10:30. I will post details separately.

Our Lazarus Saturday Liturgy will be celebrated in Cheltenham, in Prestbury United Reformed Church, where confessions will be heard from 09:15. The Hours will be chanted at 10:00 and the Liturgy will be celebrated at 10:30. We eagerly look forward to the celebration of this wonderful feast before Holy Week.

The Catholic Easter Vigil, next Saturday, will make it impossible for us to set up in the evening – hence confessions in Morganstown – and the Easter Sunday Mass will not commence until 10:00. Therefore, we will not have access to the chapel until around 10:35/10:40.

The Hours will be read during the proskomedia, and we will begin our celebration of the Palm Sunday Liturgy – the Entry of the Lord into Jerusalem – as close to 11:00 as possible. There will be very little chance to hear confessions before the Liturgy, so it may be necessary to confess and commune parishioners AFTER the Liturgy. This is unfortunate, but unavoidable.

Finally, for those who do not use Facebook, yesterday, we sadly announced the repose of Eileen, mother of our dear friend Father Sebastian of the Oratory of St Philip Neri, and ask you to remember her in your prayers, together with the newly departed Ronald, father of Father Alexander.

Our deepest sympathy is extended to Father Sebastian and his sisters, Alison and Helen, and – of course – to Father Alexander. May the Lord remember the souls of the newly-departed in His Kingdom. Memory Eternal!

I hope that, if your spiritual labours have flagged during the latter part of the Great Fast, the week ahead may be one of refocussing and regaining momentum before Holy Week!

Please continue to keep Metropolitan Pavel, the Abbot of the Holy Dormition Kiev-Caves Lavra, and all of its persecuted Brotherhood in your prayers.

May God bless you all.

In Christ – Fr Mark

St Vladimir of Kiev – First Hieromartyr of the Soviet Yoke

At this time of suffering and persecution for the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, let us not forget that Metropolitan Onuphry’s predecessor, St Vladimir (Metropolitan of Kiev and Galich 1915 to 1918) was the first Hieromartyr of the Soviet yoke.

Let us turn to him in prayer for the suffering Ukrainian Orthodox Church, for his successor, Metropolitan Onuphry, and for the Abbot and Brotherhood of the Kiev Caves Lavra.

The holy Metropolitan Vladimir of Kiev was the first bishop to be tortured and slain by the Communists at the time of the Russian Revolution.

Basil Nikephorovich Bogoyavlensky was born in the province of Tambov of pious parents on January 1, 1848. His father, a priest, was later murdered. The young Basil graduated from the Theological Academy in Kiev in 1874, and taught in the Tambov seminary for seven years before he was ordained to the holy priesthood.

His wife died in 1886, and their only child died shortly thereafter. The bereaved widower entered the Kozlov monastery in Tambov and was given the name Vladimir. In 1888 he was consecrated bishop of Staraya Rus, and served as a vicar bishop of the Novgorod diocese. In 1891 he was assigned to the diocese of Samara. In those days people of his diocese suffered from a cholera epidemic and a crop failure. Bishop Vladimir devoted himself to caring for the sick and suffering, inspiring others to follow his example.

In 1892 he became Archbishop of Kartalin and Kahetin, then in 1898 he was chosen as Metropolitan of Moscow and Kolomna. He served fifteen years in this position.

Metropolitan Vladimir was distinguished by his compassion for the poor, and for widows and orphans. He also tried to help alcoholics and those who had abandoned the Church. The Metropolitan was also interested in the education of children in school, especially those who were studying in the theological schools.

In 1912, after the death of Metropolitan Anthony, he was appointed Metropolitan of Petrograd, administering that diocese until 1915. Because he disapproved of Rasputin, Metropolitan Vladimir fell out of favor with the Tsar, and so he was transferred to Kiev. On November 5, 1917 it was he who announced that Saint Tikhon (April 7) had been elected as Patriarch of Moscow.

The “Ukrainian Congress” was also calling for an autonomous Ukraine and for the creation of a Ukrainian Church independent from the Church of Russia. Metropolitan Vladimir suffered and grieved because of this question, warning that such a division in the Church would allow its enemies to be victorious. However, at the end of 1917, a Ukrainian Dominion was formed, and also a separate Ukrainian church administration (“rada”) led by the retired Archbishop Alexis Dorodnitzin. This uncanonical group forbade the commemoration of Patriarch Tikhon during church services, and demanded that Metropolitan Vladimir leave Kiev.

In January 1918 the civil war came to Kiev, and the two forces vied for control of the city. Many churches and monasteries were damaged by the cannon fire. The Bolsheviks seized the Kiev Caves Lavra on January 23, and soldiers broke into the churches. Monks were taken out into the courtyard to be stripped and beaten. At six thirty on the night of January 25, five armed soldiers and a sailor came looking for Metropolitan Vladimir. The seventy-year-old hierarch was tortured and choked in his bedroom with the chain of his cross. The ruffians tortured the Metropolitan and demanded money.

When they emerged, the Metropolitan’s cell attendant approached and asked for a blessing.The sailor pushed him aside and told him, “Enough bowing to these blood-drinkers. No more of it.” After blessing and kissing him, the Metropolitan said, “Good-bye, Philip.” Then he walked calmly with his executioners, just as if he were on his way to serve the Liturgy.

Metropolitan Vladimir was driven from the monastery to the place of execution. As they got out of the car, the holy martyr asked, “Do you intend to shoot me here?”

“Why not?” they replied.

After praying for a short time and asking forgiveness for his sins, Metropolitan Vladimir blessed the executioners, saying, “May God forgive you.” Then several rifle shots were heard.

In the morning, some women came to the gates of the Lavra and told the monks where the Metropolitan’s body could be found. He was lying on his back, with bullet wounds near his right eye and by his right collarbone. There were also several cuts and gashes on the body, including a very deep chest wound. The hieromartyr was carried into the Lavra church of Saint Michael, where he had spent his last days at prayer.

In Moscow, the All-Russian Church Council was in session when word came of Metropolitan Vladimir’s death. Patriarch Tikhon and his clergy performed a Memorial Service for the New Martyr Vladimir. A commission was formed to investigate the circumstances of Metropolitan Vladimir’s murder, but it was unable to carry out its duties because of the Revolution.The Council decided that January 25, the day of his death, would be set aside for the annual commemoration of all of Russia’s martyrs and confessors killed by the Soviets.

The holy New Martyr Vladimir of Kiev was glorified by the Orthodox Church of Russia in 1992. On the Sunday closest to January 25 (the day of Metropolitan Vladimir’s martyrdom) we also observe the Synaxis of Russia’s New Martyrs and Confessors.

The Voice of the Persecuted Ukrainian Orthodox Church

The speech of His Eminence, Metropolitan Pavel – Abbot of the Holy Dormition Kiev Caves Lavra on 29th March: the day on which the persecuting government set for the withdrawal or eviction of the sacred brotherhood who rebuilt the monastery from ruins and rubble.

Persecution is a daily reality, and the age of the martyrs and confessors has returned.

“ We, dear brothers and sisters, are at the baptismal font of Holy Rus, a 1000 year old place, where we still are in communion with those who inhabit Heaven, with the testimony of their Holy Relics abiding in this greatest holy place.

The first martyrs here were Ioann and Fyodor, his father, the Varangian Christians who were sacrificed to the idols. Then martyrs Theodor, Lukian, Vasiliy and others who are resting in this sacred place. The last martyr – hieromartyr Vladimir who was fighting the godless authorities, renovationism and all those passions and sins devouring our Fatherland.

Today unfortunately history is repeated. Instead of uniting people around defending the country we (the country) are killing our own, driving them out of our sacred places, OUR holy places, built by OUR people, built by ourselves. I testify of that as a person who knows, who built many churches. We are interceding before all the saints so they would not abandon us, and the faithful.

“Again Herodias is raving, again she is dancing and again she is trying to have John the Baptist beheaded by Herod. Again Jezebel is going around trying to seize the vineyard of Naboth and chase Elijah into the hills”- for this sermon the Holy Hierarch was sent into exile.

Today these kinds of things are happening in our country. Today we received correspondence from the director of the “ museum” signed by the minister of culture informing us we are being evicted from this place of 1000 years of prayer.  I want to warn the President and all his gang- our tears will not fall onto the ground but they will fall on your head to your woe.

Today you think that having climbed to power on our backs and with our blessing you can treat us like this. God will not forgive you or your kin for this evil act – today two hundred and twenty monks are being made homeless; because you could not receive Metropolitan Onufriy with the Synod to hear him out; you could not control your Minister of Culture consumed by the spirit of godlessness an demonic hate towards us. Therefore, he acts with your permission. Woe to you!  

We informed the above mentioned authorities that we will not leave the Lavra until the decision of the Court. We have turned to all the Ukrainian courts with all our documents, but now the third judge has declined our case, because the pressure on the judges to expel us from the Lavra is too great.

Today we are appealing to the United Nations, to UNESCO and other human rights organisations. We are appealing to the other churches to pray for us so truth would win.

We know that Truth is crucified in the world. When the Hieromartyr Petro Polyansky was judged by a “ troika” tribunal, one of the three said: “ Ours is the truth, we are finishing with you, priests, we have won” to which Fr Petro replied-“ You are right, yours is the TIME, the time of lies, untruth and deceit.

There is also another Judgement- the Judgement of Christ. You will not win that trial because Christ the Judge and Defender never makes mistakes.

Mr President and you Cabinet – woe to you! We are not the enemies of Ukraine. We are not bandits or “ the fifth column”, we are citizens of our country. You came to us in your election campaign, you asked for the blessing from Metropolitan Onufriy to win this election. And today, as president, you could not even receive and hear out the elderly hierarch who represents millions of your citizens.

We have seen the lawlessness that has happened in Ivano-Frankivsk Region. In the city the last cathedral has been taken away. The cathedral which the Lavra rebuilt. Tear gas with pepper spray….they shut the doors and smoked people out like rats…have a look at the videos- get closer to your people.

We saw what the state police has been doing in the region of Vinnitsa- a priest serving the sacrament of anointing with oil, was beaten by the police, and dragged through the church. Those who take the sword will perish by the sword.

A word about us to the international community- we preach love, overcoming of hatred, patience, we support the human rights…so what is this eviction about? How can we trust or believe our authorities? We ask and demand justice but not only for ourselves, but for our Holy Church ( the people)

I address the police. You are coming for us on the 30th, but be mindful people. Do not carry out instructions of the mad tormentors. The synod of so-called Orthodox Church of Ukraine already said they will be serving the Feast of the Annunciation in the Lower church in the Lavra. They also had the plan of taking the Pochaev Lavra approved. And now, dear brothers and sisters, look at this so called New Church in Ukraine, which deprives people of the real sacraments, which acts by bullying, which takes away salvation from people. Whose supporters take away churches by force and then don’t attend. There is a saying “Сам не гам- та иншому не дам» describing this. 

The tears of the monks will also fall on someone else – Patriarch Bartholomew, who is doing lawlessness in Ukraine today. I don’t understand the man- he is 80 years old, soon he will be standing at the judgement seat of Christ…does he think himself immortal.

Having lost a lot of his folk he is today stealing sheep from someone else’s yard. Woe to you and shame on you, because all that is happening today is with  your miserable and deceitful blessing.

I am addressing you, dear brothers and sisters with a plea, please come to the services to support us all as the journalists of the Rada told us that disorder may happen on the 30th and the 31st of March.

We call on you not to respond to haters with hate. We ask you to be faithful to the Holy Mother Church. We know that even if we have to leave we will come back. Khrushchev promised that by 1970 he will show the last priest on TV but how mistaken he was.

The Church was resurrected and he is probably enduring the torments of hell. On the 10th of March 1961 the Lavra was shut by him. In 1988 in the Soviet Union the Lavra opened again and the faithful monks returned, making more disciples. Sixty two  years later, the grandchildren of the persecutors of the Church come again to shut us down. The desires of the world and the passions are winning over you. Think of it now, because you will have to give answer for everything. 

Dear pilgrims, brothers and sisters, who came to us for spiritual renewal and the blessing from the saints- again, we are enduring times of persecution, by the people who are casting out the Mother of God herself, who said to the Greek architects “ I want to dwell in the city of Kiev”.

She provided the funds for the building of the Holy Dormition cathedral and She appeared in an uncreated icon of the Dormition of the Mother of God.

The presence of the Mother of God is the highest treasure for the monastics. The Monk Alipiy, with the other iconographers, frescoed the wonderful church. The church was desolated and deconsecrated several times and destroyed by the bolsheviks. It was fully rebuilt by the brethren and the small donation from the government in 2000. With many tears of people who prayed and donated so they would see the church rebuilt before they died. 

Since then, the brothers have invested everything into the interior decor, the royal doors, the icons over the last 22 years.

This church was taken away from us. You saw the darkened crosses since it happened, you saw darkened icons…people are probably working on the destruction of the Holy places.

Why do I say this? Because I read and hear threats in the internet, on the news…yesterday I went to the passport office because my passport is lost or has been stolen, but the news has started spreading lies that I am emigrating, abandoning my brethren. This is how slander works. 

I will not leave unless I have to bury everyone of you. 

Today I am addressing all countries which have protection of human rights observed, I am addressing the faithful, of whom some say this is coming to us for our sins. Maybe it is better for all of us to look deeper into our hearts and look closely at our own lives and our sins? 

The minister of culture said in public this is for the sins for the Ukrainian Church. If you decided to pronounce a verdict on us without an epitrachil, maybe you can ask yourself if your wife could have died because of your sins? Maybe you can take the plank out of your eye instead of seeing the specks in the eyes of our brothers, martyrs and confessors?

We never thought that in the 21st century we would be oppressed by our own people. But if we read the elders who prophesied in Stalin’s times about the times of Khrushchev, about our times, we are awe-struck at how they saw what would happen?

Dear Rulers, what has the Church done to you? Or maybe you are running away from your conscience? None of us is going to avoid the judgement of God, not a single person. 

Again, dear Brothers and Sisters, please, I beg you, pray for us, for me, because I as an abbot have a very heavy heart.

Yesterday the security services had their meeting with me and they I said, “I am not compromising.” If I have to give my life for Christ, for the Church, then I have to. There can be no compromises with God. And you are temporary. Like dew in the sun you will evaporate. Again and again I say, those who raise the sword shall perish by it. 

I am addressing those people who slander us. We do not have the Moscow Church here. Our church is Christ’s Church. We do not sing songs or poems hate against anyone, we exist to praise Christ and his Mother. We wish everyone peace and health, at the time when the enemies are attacking our country from all sides.

Instead of being grateful for the prayer that is ascending to God, here you are killing our priests! Some of you said- when we are finished dealing with the Lavra we will sort out the womens monastery of the Protection of the Mother of God. 

“Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned” ( Psalm 33)

The Life of St Mary of Egypt

The Life of St Mary of Egypt, by St Sophronios, Patriarch of Jerusalem.

“It is good to hide the secret of a king, but it is glorious to reveal and preach the works of God” (Tobit 12:7). So said the Archangel Raphael to Tobit when he performed the wonderful healing of his blindness. Actually, not to keep the secret of a king is perilous and a terrible risk, but to be silent about the works of God is a great loss for the soul. And I (says St. Saphronius), in writing the life of St. Mary of Egypt, am afraid to hide the works of God by silence. Remembering the misfortune threatened to the servant who hid his God-given talent in the earth (Mat. 25:18-25), I am bound to pass on the holy account that has reached me. And let no one think (continues St. Saphronius) that I have had the audacity to write untruth or doubt this great marvel –may I never lie about holy things! If there do happen to be people who, after reading this record, do not believe it, may the Lord have mercy on them because, reflecting on the weakness of human nature, they consider impossible these wonderful things accomplished by holy people. But now we must begin to tell this most amazing story, which has taken place in our generation.

There was a certain elder in one of the monasteries of Palestine, a priest of the holy life and speech, who from childhood had been brought up in monastic ways and customs. This elder’s name was Zosima. He had been through the whole course of the ascetic life and in everything he adhered to the rule once given to him by his tutors as regard spiritual labours. he had also added a good deal himself whilst labouring to subject his flesh to the will of the spirit. And he had not failed in his aim. He was so renowned for his spiritual life that many came to him from neighboring monasteries and some even from afar. While doing all this, he never ceased to study the Divine Scriptures. Whether resting, standing, working or eating food (if the scraps he nibbled could be called food), he incessantly and constantly had a single aim: always to sing of God, and to practice the teaching of the Divine Scriptures.

Zosima used to relate how, as soon as he was taken from his mother’s breast, he was handed over to the monastery where he went through his training as an ascetic till he reached the age of 53. After that, he began to be tormented with the thought that he was perfect in everything and needed no instruction from anyone, saying to himself mentally, “Is there a monk on earth who can be of use to me and show me a kind of asceticism that I have not accomplished? Is there a man to be found in the desert who has surpassed me?” Thus thought the elder, when suddenly an angel appeared to him and said: “Zosima, valiantly have you struggled, as far as this is within the power of man, valiantly have you gone through the ascetic course. But there is no man who has attained perfection. Before you lie unknown struggles greater than those you have already accomplished. That you may know how many other ways lead to salvation, leave your native land like the renowned patriarch Abraham and go to the monastery by the River Jordan.”

Zosima did as he was told. he left the monastery in which he had lived from childhood, and went to the River Jordan. At last he reached the community to which God had sent him. Having knocked at the door of the monastery, he told the monk who was the porter who he was; and the porter told the abbot. On being admitted to the abbot’s presence, Zosima made the usual monastic prostration and prayer. Seeing that he was a monk the abbot asked: “Where do you come from, brother, and why have you come to us poor old men?” Zosima replied: “There is no need to speak about where I have come from, but I have come, father, seeking spiritual profit, for I have heard great things about your skill in leading souls to God.” “Brother,” the abbot said to him, “Only God can heal the infirmity of the soul. May He teach you and us His divine ways and guide us. But as it is the love of Christ that has moved you to visit us poor old men, then stay with us, if that is why you have come. May the Good Shepherd Who laid down His life for our salvation fill us all with the grace of the Holy Spirit.” After this, Zosima bowed to the abbot, asked for his prayers and blessing, and stayed in the monastery.

There he saw elders proficient both in action and the contemplation of God, aflame in spirit, working for the Lord. They sang incessantly, they stood in prayer all night, work was ever in their hands and psalms on their lips. Never an idle word was heard among them, they know nothing about acquiring temporal goods or the cares of life. But they had one desire — to become in body like corpses. Their constant food was the Word of God, and they sustained their bodies on bread and water, as much as their love for God allowed them Seeing this, Zosima was greatly edified and prepared for the struggle that lay before him.

Many days passed and the time drew near when all Christians fast and prepare themselves to worship the Divine Passion and Ressurection of Christ. The monastery gates were kept always locked and only opened when one of the community was sent out on some errand. It was a desert place, not only unvisited by people of the world but even unknown to them. There was a rule in that monastery which was the reason why God brought Zosima there. At the beginning of the Great Fast [on Forgiveness Sunday] the priest celebrated the holy Liturgy and all partook of the holy body and blood of Christ. After the Liturgy they went to the refectory and would eat a little lenten food. Then all gathered in church, and after praying earnestly with prostrations, the elders kissed one another and asked forgiveness. And each made a prostration to the abbot and asked his blessing and prayers for the struggle that lay before them.

After this, the gates of the monastery were thrown open, and singing, “The Lord is my light and my Savior; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defender of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 26:1) and the rest of that psalm, all went out into the desert and crossed the River Jordan. Only one or two brothers were left in the monastery, not to guard the property (for there was nothing to rob), but so as not to leave the church without Divine Service. Each took with him as much as he could or wanted in the way of food, according to the needs of his body: one would take a little bread, another some figs, another dates or wheat soaked in water. And some took nothing but their own body covered with rags and fed when nature forced them to it on the plants that grew in the desert. After crossing the Jordan, they all scattered far and wide in different directions. And this was the rule of life they had, and which they all observed — neither to talk to one another, nor to know how each one lived and fasted. If they did happen to catch sight of one another, they went to another part of the country, living alone and always singing to God, and at a definite time eating a very small quantity of food.

In this way they spent the whole of the fast and used to return to the monastery a week before the Resurrection of Christ, on Palm Sunday. Each one returned having his own conscience as the witness of his labour, and no one asked another how he had spent his time in the desert. Such were rules of the monastery. Everyone of them whilst in the desert struggled with himself before the Judge of the struggle — God — not seeking to please men and fast before the eyes of all. For what is done for the sake of men, to win praise and honour, is not only useless to the one who does it but sometimes the cause of great punishment.

Zosima did the same as all. And he went far, far into the desert with a secret hope of finding some father who might be living there and who might be able to satisfy his thirst and longing. And he wandered on tireless, as if hurrying on to some definite place. He had already waled for 20 days and when the 6th hour came he stopped and, turning to the East, he began to sing the sixth Hour and recite the customary prayers. He used to break his journey thus at fixed hours of the day to rest a little, to chant psalms standing and to pray on bent knees. And as he sang thus without turning his eyes from the heavens, he suddenly saw to the right of the hillock on which he stood the semblance of a human body. At first he was confused thinking he beheld a vision of the devil, and even started with fear. But, having guarded himself with he sign of the Cross and banished all fear, he turned his gaze in that direction and in truth saw some form gliding southwards. It was naked, the skin dark as if burned up by the heat of the sun; the hair on its head was white as a fleece, and not long, falling just below its neck. Zosima was so overjoyed at beholding a human form that he ran after it in pursuit, but the form fled from him. He followed. At length, when he was near enough to be heard, he shouted: “Why do you run from an old man and a sinner? Slave of the True God, wait for me, whoever you are, in God’s name I tell you, for the love of God for Whose sake you are living in the desert.” “Forgive me for God’s sake, but I cannot turn towards you and show you my face, Abba Zosima. For I am a woman and naked as you see with the uncovered shame of my body. But if you would like to fulfil one wish of a sinful woman, throw me your cloak so that I can cover my body and can turn to you and ask for your blessing.” Here terror seized Zosima, for he heard that she called him by name. But he realized that she could not have done so without knowing anything of him if she had not had the power of spiritual insight. He at once did as he was asked. He took off his old, tattered cloak and threw it to her, turning away as he did so. she picked it up and was able to cover at least a part of her body.

Then she turned to Zosima and said: “Why did you wish, Abba Zosima, to see a sinful woman? What do you wish to hear or learn from me, you who have not shrunk from such great struggles?” Zosima threw himself on the ground and asked for her blessing. She likewise bowed down before him. And thus they lay on the ground prostrate asking for each other’s blessing. And one word alone could be heard from both: “Bless me!” After a long while the woman said to Zosima: “Abba Zosima, it is you who must give blessing and pray. You are dignified by the order of priesthood and for may years you have been standing before the holy altar and offering the sacrifice of the Divine Mysteries.” This flung Zosima into even greater terror. At length with tears he said to her: “O mother, filled with he spirit, by your mode of life it is evident that you live with God and have died to the world. The Grace granted to you is apparent — for you have called me by name and recognized that I am a priest, though you have never seen me before. Grace is recognized not by one’s orders, but by gifts of the Spirit, so give me your blessing for God’s sake, for I need your prayers.” Then giving way before the wish of the elder the woman said: “Blessed is God Who cares for the salvation of men and their souls.” Zosima answered: “Amen.” And both rose to their feet. Then the woman asked the elder: “Why have you come, man of God, to me who am so sinful? Why do you wish to see a woman naked an devoid of every virtue? Though I know one thing — the Grace of the Holy Spirit has brought you to render me a service in time. Tell me, father, how are the Christian peoples living? And the kings? How is the Church guided?” Zosima said: “By your prayers, mother, Christ has granted lasting peace to all. But fulfill the unworthy petition of an old man and pray for the whole world and for me who am a sinner, so that my wanderings in the desert may not be fruitless.” She answered: “You who are a priest, Abba Zosima, it is you who must pray for me and for all — for this is your calling. But as we must all be obedient, I will gladly do what you ask.” And with these words she turned to the East, and raising her eyes to heaven and stretching out her hands, she began to pray in a whisper.

One could not hear separate words, so that Zosima could not understand anything that she said in her prayers. Meanwhile he stood, according to his own word, all in a flutter, looking at the ground without saying a word. And he swore, calling God to witness, that when at length he thought that her prayer was very long, he took his eyes off the ground and saw that she was raised about a forearm’s distance from the ground and stood praying in the air. When he saw this, even greater terror seized him and he fell on the ground weeping and repeating may times, “Lord have mercy.” And whilst lying prostrate on the ground he was tempted by a thought: Is it not a spirit, and perhaps her prayer is hypocrisy. But at the very same moment the woman turned round, raised the elder from the ground and said: “Thoughts, tempting you about me, trouble you, Abba, telling you I am a spirit, and that my prayer is feigned? Know, holy father, that I am only a sinful woman, though I am guarded by Holy baptism. And I am no spirit but earth and ashes, and flesh alone.” And with these words she guarded herself with the sign of the Cross on her forehead, eyes, mouth and breast, saying: “May God defend us from the evil one and from his designs, for fierce is his struggle against us.”

Hearing and seeing this, the elder fell to the ground and, embracing her feet, he said with tears: “I beg you, by the Name of Christ our God, Who was born of a Virgin, for Whose sake you have stripped yourself, for Whose sake you have exhausted your flesh, do not hide from your slave, who you are and whence and how you came into this desert. Tell me everything so that the marvellous works of God may become known. A hidden wisdom and a secret treasure — what profit is there in them? Tell me all, I implore you. for not out of vanity or for self-display will you speak but to reveal the truth to me, an unworthy sinner. I believe in God, for whom you live and whom you serve. I believe that He led me into this desert so as to show me His ways in regard to you. It is not in our power to resist the plans of God. If it were not the will of God that you and you r life would be known, He would not have allowed be to see you and would not have strengthened me to undertake this journey, one like me who never before dared to leave his cell.”

Much more said Abba Zosima. But the woman raised him and said: “I am ashamed, Abba, to speak to you of my disgraceful life, forgive me for God’s sake! But as you have already seen my naked body I shall likewise lay bare before you my work, so that you may know with what shame and obscenity my soul is filled. I was not running away out of vanity, as you thought, for what have I to be proud of — I who was the chosen vessel of the devil? But when I start my story you will run from me, as from a snake, for your ears will not be able to bear the vileness of my actions. But I shall tell you all without hiding anything, only imploring you first of all to pray incessantly for me, so that I may find mercy on the day of Judgment.” The elder wept and the woman began her story.

“My native land, holy father, was Egypt. Already during the lifetime of my parents, when I was twelve years old, I renounced their love and went to Alexandria. I am ashamed to recall how there I at first ruined my maidenhood and then unrestrainedly and insatiably gave myself up to sensuality It is more becoming to speak of this briefly, so that you may just know my passion and my lechery. for about seventeen years, forgive me, I lived like that. I was like a fire of public debauch. And it was not for the sake of gain — here I speak the pure truth. Often when they wished to pay me, I refused the money. I acted in this way so as to make as many men as possible to try to obtain me, doing free of charge what gave me pleasure. do not think that I was rich and that was the reason why I did not take money. I lived by begging, often by spinning flax, but I had an insatiable desire and an irrepressible passion for lying in filth. This was life to me. Every kind of abuse of nature I regarded as life. That is how I lived. Then one summer I saw a large crowd of Lybians and Egyptians running towards the sea. I asked one of them, `Where are these men hurrying to?’ He replied, `They are all going to Jerusalem for the Exaltation of the Precious and Lifegiving Cross, which takes place in a few days.’ I said to him, `Will they take me with them if I wish to go?’ `No one will hinder you if you have money to pay for the journey and for food.’ And I said to him, `To tell you truth, I have no money, neither have I food. But I shall go with them and shall go aboard. And they shall feed me, whether they want to or not. I have a body — they shall take it instead of pay for the journey.’ I was suddenly filled with a desire to go, Abba, to have more lovers who could satisfy my passion. I told you, Abba Zosima, not to force me to tell you of my disgrace. God is my witness, I am afraid of defiling you and the very air with my words.”

Zosima, weeping, replied to her: “Speak on for God’s sake, mother, speak and do not break the thread of such an edifying tale.”

And, resuming her story, she went on: “That youth, on hearing my shameless words, laughed and went off. While I, throwing away my spinning wheel, ran off towards the sea in the direction which everyone seemed to be taking. and, seeing some young men standing on the shore, about ten or more of them, full of vigour and alert in their movements, I decided that they would do for my purpose (it seemed that some of them were waiting for more travellers whilst others had gone ashore). Shamelessly, as usual, I mixed with the crowd, saying, `Take me with you to the place you are going to; you will not find me superfluous.’ I also added a few more words calling forth general laughter. Seeing my readiness to be shameless, they readily took me aboard the boat. Those who were expected came also, and we set sail at once. How shall I relate to you what happened after this? Whose tongue can tell, whose ears can take in all that took place on the boat during that voyage! And to all this I frequently forced those miserable youths even against their own will. There is no mentionable or unmentionable depravity of which I was not their teacher. I am amazed, Abba, how the sea stood our licentiousness, how the earth did not open its jaws, and how it was that hell did not swallow me alive, when I had entangled in my net so many souls. But I think God was seeking my repentance. For He does not desire the death of a sinner but magnanimously awaits his return to Him. At last we arrived in Jerusalem. I spent the days before the festival in the town, living the save kind of life, perhaps even worse. I was not content with the youths I had seduced at sea and who had helped be to get to Jerusalem; many others — citizens of the town and foreigners — I also seduced. The holy day of the Exaltation of the Cross dawned while I was still flying about — hunting for youths. At daybreak I saw that everyone was hurrying to the church, so I ran with the rest. When the hour for the holy elevation approached, I was trying to make my way in with the crowd which was struggling to get through the church doors.

“I had at last squeezed through with great difficulty almost to the entrance of the temple, from which the lifegiving Tree of the Cross was being shown to the people. But when I trod on the doorstep which everyone passed, I was stopped by some force which prevented by entering. Meanwhile I was brushed aside by the crowd and found myself standing alone in the porch. Thinking that this had happened because of my woman’s weakness, I again began to work my way into the crowd, trying to elbow myself forward. But in vain I struggled. Again my feet trod on the doorstep over which others were entering the church without encountering any obstacle. I alone seemed to remain unaccepted by the church. It was as if there was a detachment of soldiers standing there to oppose my entrance. Once again I was excluded by the same mighty force and again I stood in the porch. Having repeated my attempt three or four times, at last I felt exhausted and had no more strength to push and to be puched, so I went aside and stood in a corner of the porch. And only then with great difficulty it began to dawn on me, and I began to understand the reason why I was prevented from being admitted to see the life-giving Cross. The word of salvation gently touched the eyes of my heart and revealed to me that it was my unclean life which barred the entrance to me. I began to weep and lament and beat my breast, and to sigh from the depths of my heart.

“And so I stood weeping when I saw above me the ikon of the most holy Mother of God. Not taking my eyes off her, I said, `O Lady, Mother of God, who gave birth in the flesh to God the Word, I know, O how well I know, that it is no honour or praise to thee when one so impure and depraved as I look up to thy icon, O ever-virgin, who didst keep thy body and soul in purity. Rightly do I inspire hatred and disgust before thy virginal purity. But I have heard that God Who was born of thee became man on purpose to call sinners to repentance. Then help me, for I have no other help. Order the entrance of the church to be opened to me. Allow me to see the venerable Tree on which He Who was born of thee suffered in the flesh and on which He shed His holy Blood for the redemption of sinners an for me, unworthy as I am. Be my faithful witness before thy son that I will never again defile my body by the impurity of fornication, but as soon as I have seen the Tree of the Cross I will renounce the world and its temptations and will go wherever thou wilt lead me.’ Thus I spoke and as if acquiring some hope in firm faith and feeling some confidence in the mercy of the Mother of God, I left the place where I stood praying. And I went again and mingled with the crowd that was pushing its way into the temple. And no one seemed to thwart me, no one hindered my entering the church. I was possessed with trembling, and was almost in delirium.

“Having got as far as the doors which I could not reach before — as if the same force which had hindered me cleared the way for me — I now entered without difficulty and found myself within the holy place. And so it was I saw the lifegiving Cross. I saw too the Mysteries of God and how the Lord accepts repentance. Throwing myself on the ground, I worshipped that holy earth and kissed it with trembling. The I came out of the church and went to her who had promised to be my security, to the place where I had sealed my vow. And bending my knees before the Virgin Mother of God, I addressed her with these words: `O loving Lady, thou hast shown me thy great love for all men. glory to God Who receives the repentance of sinners through thee. What more can I recollect or say, I who am so sinful? It is time for me, O Lady to fulfil my vow, according to thy witness. Now lead me by the hand along the path of repentance!’ And at these words I heard a voice from on high: `If you cross the Jordan you will find glorious rest.’ Hearing this voice and having faith that it was for me, I cried to the Mother of God: `O Lady, Lady, do not forsake me!’ With these words I left the porch of the church and set off on my journey.

“As I was leaving the church a stranger glanced at me and gave me three coins, saying: `Sister, take these.’ And, taking the money, I bought three loaves and took them with me on my journey, as a blessed gift. I asked the person who sold the bread: `Which is the way to the Jordan?’ I was directed to the city gate which led that way. Running on I passed the gates and still weeping went on my journey. Those I met I asked the way, and after walking for the rest of that day (I think it was nine o’clock when I saw the Cross) I at length reached at sunset the Church of St. John the Baptist which stood on the banks of the Jordan. After praying in the temple, I went down to the Jordan and rinsed my face and hands in its holy waters. I partook of the holy and life-giving Mysteries in the Church of the Forerunner and ate half of one of my loaves. Then, after drinking some water from Jordan, I lay down and passed the night on the ground. In the morning I found a small boat and crossed to the opposite bank. I again prayed to Our Lady to lead me whither she wished. Then I found myself in this desert and since then up to this very day I am estranged from all, keeping away from people and running away from everyone. And I live here clinging to my God Who saves all who turn to Him from faintheartedness and storms.”

Zosima asked her: “How many years have gone by since you began to live in this desert?” She replied: “Forty-seven years have already gone by, I think, since I left the holy city.” Zosima asked: “But what food do you find?” The woman said: “I had two and a half loaves when I crossed the Jordan. Soon they dried up and became hard as rock. Eating a little I gradually finished them after a few years.” Zosima asked. “Can it be that without getting ill you have lived so many years thus, without suffering in any way from such a complete change?” The woman answered: “You remind me, Zosima, of what I dare not speak of. For when I recall all the dangers which I overcame, and all the violent thoughts which confused me, I am again afraid that they will take possession of me.” Zosima said: “Do not hide anything from me; speak to me without concealing anything.”

She said to him: “Believe me, Abba, seventeen years I passed in this desert fighting wild beasts — mad desires and passions. When I was about to partake of food, I used to begin to regret the meat and fish which of which I had so much in Egypt. I regretted also not having wine which I loved so much. for I drank a lot of wine when I lived in the world, while here I had not even water. I used to burn and succumb with thirst. The mad desire for profligate songs also entered me and confused me greatly, edging me on to sing satanic songs which I had learned once. But when such desires entered me I struck myself on the breast and reminded myself of the vow which I had made, when going into the desert. In my thoughts I returned to the ikon of the Mother of God which had received me and to her I cried in prayer. I implored her to chase away the thoughts to which my miserable soul was succumbing. And after weeping for long and beating my breast I used to see light at last which seemed to shine on me from everywhere. And after the violent storm, lasting calm descended.

“And how shall I tell you, O Abba, of teh thoughts that pushed me towards lust once more? A fire was kindled in my miserable heart which seemed to burn me up completely and to awake in me a thirst for embraces. As soon as this craving came to me, I flung myself on the earth and watered it with my tears, as if I saw before me my witness, who had appeared to me in my disobedience, and who seemed to threaten punishment for the crime. And I did not rise from the ground (sometimes I lay thus prostrate for a day and a night) until a calm and sweet light descended and enlightened me and chased away the thoughts that possessed me. But always I turned to the eyes of my mind to my Protectress, asking her to extend help to one who was sinking fast in the waves of the desert. And I always had her as my Helper and the Accepter of my repentance. And thus I lived for seventeen years amid constant dangers. And since then even till now the Mother of God helps me in everything and leads me as it were by the hand.”

Zosima asked: “Can it be that you did not need food and clothing?” She answered: “After finishing the loaves I had, of which I spoke, for seventeen years I have fed on herbs and all that can be found in the desert. The clothes I had when I crossed the Jordan became torn and worn out. I suffered greatly from the cold and greatly from the extreme heat. At times the sun burned me up and at other times I shivered from the frost, and frequently falling to the ground I lay without breath and without motion. I struggled with many afflictions and with terrible temptations. But from that time till now the power of God in numerous ways had guarded my sinful soul and my humble body. When I only reflect on the evils from which Our Lord has delivered me I have imperishable food for hope o of salvation. I am fed and clothed by the all-powerful Word of God, the Lord of all. For it is not by bread alone that man lives. And those who have stripped off the rags of sin have no refuge, hiding themselves in the clefts of the rocks (Job 24; Heb. 11:38).”

Hearing that she cited words Scripture, from Moses and Job, Zosima asked her: “And so you have read the psalms and other books?” She smiled at this and said to the elder: “Believe me, I have not seen a human face ever since I crossed the Jordan, except yours today. I have not seen a beast or a living being ever since I came into the desert. I never learned from books. I have never even heard anyone who sang and read from them. But the word of God which is alive and active, by itself teaches a man knowledge. And so this is the end of my tale. But, as I asked you in the beginning, so even now I implore you for the sake of the Incarnate word of God, to pray to the Lord for me who am such a sinner.”

Thus concluding her tale she bowed down before him. And with tears the elder exclaimed: “Blessed is God Who creates the great and wondrous, the glorious and marvellous without end. Blessed is God Who has shown me how He rewards those who fear Him. Truly, O Lord, Thou dost not forsake those who seek Thee!” And the woman, not allowing the elder to bow down before her, said: “I beg you, holy father, for the sake of Jesus Christ our God and Savior, tell no one what you have heard, until God delivers me of this earth. And now depart in peace and again next year you shall see me, and I you, if God will preserve us in His great mercy. But for God’s sake, do as I ask you. Next year during Lent do not cross the Jordan, as is your custom in the monastery.” Zosima was amazed to hear that she know the rules of the monastery and could only say: “Glory to God Who bestows great gifts on those who love Him.” She continued: “Remain, Abba, in the monastery. And even if you wish to depart, you will not be to do so. And at sunset of the holy day of the Last super, put some of the lifegiving Body and Blood of Christ into a holy vessel worthy to hold such Mysteries for me, and bring it. And wait for me on the banks of the Jordan adjoining the inhabited parts of the land, so that I can come and partake of the lifegiving Gifts. For, since the time I communicated in the temple of the Forerunner before crossing the Jordan even to this day I have not approached the Holy Mysteries. And I thirst for them with irrepressible love and longing. and therefore I ask and implore you to grant me my wish, bring me the lifegiving Mysteries at the very hour when Our Lord made His disciples partake of His Divine Supper. Tell John the Abbot of the monastery where you live. Look to yourself and to your brothers, for there is much that needs correction. Only do not say this now, but when God guides you. Pray for me!” With these words she vanished in the depths of the desert. And Zosima, falling down on his knees and bowing down to the ground on which she had stood, sent up glory and thanks to God. And, after wandering thorough the desert, he returned to the monastery on the day all the brothers returned.

For the whole year he kept silent, not daring to tell anyone of what he had seen. To himself he prayed God to show him again the face that he desired. He tormented himself and worried himself to pieces, imagining to himself how long a year is and wanting, if possible, that the year be shortened into one single day. And when at length the first Sunday of the Great Fast came, all went out into the desert with the customary prayers and the singing of psalms. Only Zosima was held back by illness — he lay in a fever. And then he remembered what the saint had said to him: “and even if you wish to depart, you will not be able to do so.”

Many days passed and at last recovering from his illness he remained in the monastery. And when attain the monks returned and the day of the Last Supper dawned, he did as he had been ordered. and placing some of the most pure Body and Blood into a small chalice and putting some gis and dates and lentils soaked in water into a small basket, he departed for the desert and reached the banks of the Jordan and sat down to wait for the saint. He waited for a long while and then began to doubt. then raising his eyes to heaven, he began to pray: “Grant me O Lord, to behold that which Thou hast allowed be to behold once. do not let me depart in vain, being the burden of my sins.” And then another thought struck him: “And what if she does come? There is no boat; how will she cross the Jordan to come to me who am so unworthy?” And as he was pondering thus he saw the holy woman appear and stand on the other side of the river. Zosima got up rejoicing and glorifying and thanking God. And again the thought came to him that she could not cross the Jordan. Then he saw that she made the sign of the Cross over the waters of the Jordan (and the night was a moonlight one, as he related afterwards) and then she at once stepped on to the waters and began walking across the surface towards him. And when he wanted to prostrate himself, she cried to him while still walking on the water: “What are you doing, Abba, you are a priest and carrying the divine Gifts!” He obeyed her and on reaching the shore she said to the elder: “Bless, father, bless me!” He answered her trembling, for a state of confusion had overcome him at the sight of the miracle: “Truly God did not lie when He promised that when we purify ourselves we shall be like Him. Glory to Thee, Christ our God, Who has shown me through this thy slave how far away I stand from perfection.” Here the woman asked him to say the Creed and our Father. He began, she finished the prayer and according to the custom of that time gave him the kiss of peace on the lips. Having partaken of the Holy Mysteries, she raised her hands to heaven and sighed with tears in her eyes, exclaiming: “Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace, O Lord, according to Thy word; for my eyes have seen Thy salvation.”

Then she said to the elder: “Forgive me, Abba, for asking you, but fulfil another wish of mine. Go now to the monastery and let God’s grace guard you. and next year come again to the same place where I first met you. come for God’s sake, for you shall again see me, for such is the will of God.” He said to her: “From this day on I would like to follow you and always see your holy face. but now fulfil the one and only wish of an old man and take a little of the food I have brought for you.” And he showed her the basket, while she just touched the lentils with the tips of her fingers, and taking three grains said that the Holy spirit guards the substance of the soul unpolluted. Then she said: “Pray, for God’s sake pray for me and remember a miserable wretch.” Touching the saint’s feet and asking for her prayers for the Church, the kingdom and himself, he let her depart with tears, while he went off sighing and sorrowful, for he could not hope to vanquish the invincible. Meanwhile she again made the sign of the Cross over the Jordan, and stepped on to the waters and crossed over as before. And the elder returned filled with joy and terror, accusing himself of not having asked the saint her name. But he decided to do so next year.

And when another year had passed, he again went into the desert. he reached the same spot but could see no sign of anyone.

So raising his eyes to heaven as before, he prayed: “Show me, O Lord, Thy pure treasure, which Thou hast concealed in the desert. Show me, I pray Thee, the angel in the flesh, of which the world is not worthy.” Then on the opposite bank of the river, her face turned towards the rising sun, he saw the saint lying dead. Her hands were crossed according to custom and her face was turned to the East. Running up he shed tears over the saint’s feet and kissed them, not daring to touch anything else. For a long time he wept. Then reciting the appointed psalms, he said the burial prayers and thought to himself: “Must I bury the body of a saint? Or will this be contrary to her wishes?” And then he saw words traced on the ground by her head: “Abba Zosima, bury on this spot the body of humble Mary. Return to dust that which is dust and pray to the Lord for me, who departed in the month of Fermoutin of Egypt, called April by the Romans, on the first day, on the very night of our Lord’s Passion, after having partaken of the Divine Mysteries.” Reading this the elder was glad to know the saint’s name. He understood too that as soon as she had partaken of the Divine Mysteries on the shore of the Jordan she was at once transported to the place where she died. The distance which Zosima had taken twenty days to cover, Mary had evidently traversed in an hour and had at once surrendered her soul to God.

Then Zosima thought: “It is time to do as she wished. But how am I to dig a grave with nothing in my hands?” And then he saw nearby a small piece of wood left by some traveller in the desert. Picking it up he began to dig the ground. But the earth was hard and dry and did not yield to the efforts of the elder. He grew tired and covered with sweat. he sighed from the depths of his soul and lifting up his eyes he saw a big lion standing close to the saint’s body and licking her feet. At the sight of the lion he trembled with fear, especially when he called to mind Mary’s words that she had never seen wild beasts in the desert. But guarding himself with the sign of the cross, the thought came to him that the power of the one lying there would protect him and keep him unharmed. Meanwhile the lion drew nearer to him, expressing affection by every movement. Zosima said to the lion: “The Great One ordered that her body was to be buried. But I am old and have not the strength to dig the grave (for I have no spade and it would take too long to go and get one), so can you carry out the work with your claws? Then we can commit to the earth the mortal temple of the saint.” While he was still speaking the lion with his front paws began to dig a hole deep enough to bury the body.

Again the elder washed the feet of the saint with his tears and calling on her to pray for all, covered the body with earth in the presence of the lion. It was as it had been, naked and uncovered by anything but the tattered cloak which had been given to her by Zosima and with which Mary, turning away, had managed to cover part of her body. Then both departed. The lion went off into the depth of the desert like a lamb, while Zosima returned to the monastery glorifying and blessing Christ our Lord. And on reaching the monastery he told all the brothers about everything, and all marvelled on hearing of God’s miracles. And with fear and love they kept the memory of the saint. Abbot John, as St. Mary had previously told Abba Zosima, found a number of things wrong in the monastery and got rid of them with God’s help. And Saint Zosima died in the same monastery, almost attaining the age of a hundred, and passed to eternal life.

The monks kept this story without writing it down and passed it on by word of mouth to one another. But I (adds Sophronius) as soon as I heard it, wrote it down. Perhaps someone else, better informed, has already written the life of the Saint, but as far as I could, I have recorded everything, putting truth above all else. May God Who works amazing miracles and generously bestows gifts on those who turn to Him with faith, reward those who seek light for themselves in this story, who hear, read and are zealous to write it, and may He grant them the lot of blessed Mary together with all who at different times have pleased God by their pious thoughts and labours. And let us also give glory to God, the eternal King, that He may grant us too His mercy in the day of judgment for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord, to Whom belongs all glory, honour, dominion and adoration with the Eternal Father and the Most Holy and Life-giving Spirit, now and always, and through all ages. Amen.

The End and Glory Be to God

Holy Week and Pascha in Cardiff

Dear brothers and sisters,

Please see the following times for Holy Week and Pacha services, noting that Wednesday-Friday will be in Nazareth House, Pascha night in St John’s, and the back to Nazareth House for Paschal Vespers on Sunday afternoon.

Given ongoing leg-problems, I will sadly not be celebrating the Vesperal Liturgy of Holy Saturday.

I hope that parishioners will take full advantage of the chance to confess on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, so that Saturday night confessions may be reserved for those travelling from afar.

All approaching the Mystery of Holy Unction (Orthodox Christians above the age of seven years), must make their confession as part of the preparation for this Holy Mystery.

May God bless you all.

Hieromonk Mark

Wednesday: Holy Unction at 19:00

There will be the opportunity for confessions before the service from 17:00, and all partaking of the Mystery of Holy Unction should have made a recent confession.

Thursday: Vesperal Divine Liturgy of St Basil at 11:00 

Holy Friday Matins (12 Gospels) at 19:00 confessions before and after the service.

Friday: The Burial Service of the Lord (Vespers) 16:00, followed by confessions.

Matins of Holy Saturday 19:00 – followed by confessions.

Pascha night will be in St John’s, Canton.

Confessions for non-locals from 10:30 – no long confessions given possible numbers.

Saturday: Midnight Office at 23:30.

Sunday: Procession at 00:00, followed by the Paschal Liturgy and blessing of baskets.

So that we have a Paschal service in Nazareth House, we will celebrate the Agape Vespers on Sunday afternoon, at 14:00.

The Daily Reading of the Psalter in the Parish

One of the joys of the Great Fast has been knowing that a group of parishioners and friends of the community have been reading the entire Psalter of the Holy, Righteous King and Prophet David each day, joining prayers for the parish and for their personal intentions to this spiritual-offering.

In our East Slavic tradition, each of the twenty kathismas  of the Psalter has appended penitential troparia and a prayer for use in the monastic cell or Christian home, as well as introductory and concluding prayers – so, with this in mind, our parishioners praying the psalms in English have taken advantage of the Jordanville ‘Psalter for Prayer’, which has these additional spiritual-materials.

Whilst Sequential Psalters printed in Russia and Ukraine have such hymns and prayers, English language translations which follow the Greek tradition usually do not, though troparia and prayers are used in Byzantine monastic praxis – but with differing hymns and prayers. Those of Old Rite Slavonic Psalters also differ from those used in the New Rite.

With some flexibility, some of our parishioners and friends have incorporated the Psalter-readings into their morning or evening prayers, but however the psalms have been read, they have brought spiritual strength and encouragement to those sharing the task.

The psalms, of course, are at the heart of Orthodox Christian worship, and their challenging moral and spiritual lessons call us to repentance, attentiveness and action: to turn to God and His abiding presence with those who trust in Him, live in Him and hope in Him.

How wonderful to know that the entire Psalter is read in our scattered community every day, and I hope that this might continue after the Fast!

Holy, Righteous King and Prophet David, pray to God for us!


The Sunday of St Climacus in Cardiff

How wonderful it was to welcome our newly-baptised parishioners into the eucharistic fellowship of the Church this morning, with Patrick, Brigid and Mary being quietly ‘churched’ during the chanting of 6th Hour, then leading the faithful in the reception of the Holy Gifts, at communion time.

We offer them our warmest congratulations on their reception of the Holy Mystery of the Saviour’s Body and Blood, and rejoice that in the last few days they have been able to partake of four of the seven Holy Mysteries (Sacraments) of the Church: confession/penance; baptism; chrismation; and the Holy Eucharist. Glory to God!

In our parish, it is our custom for those who have received the Holy Mysteries to remain on the left kliros until the Holy Gifts have been translated to the proskomedia table after Communion, and having turned to pronounce, “O God save Thy people, and bless Thine inheritance” towards the end of today’s Liturgy, it was a joy to see our many communicants standing there after having zapivka, with the baptismal candles of the newly-enlightened burning bright.

I know that our neophytes have been greatly touched and encouraged by the amount of support they have received from their fellow parishioners, with this reflected in messages, greetings and gifts.

The warm fellowship during our ‘pop-up trapeza’ was wonderful, offering the chance for our visitors and new people to chat with parishioners, and for the community to greet the newly-baptised. Thanks to all who were so kind and generous in their offerings. Parishioners particularly enjoyed Serbian baked goods, which proved very popular today!

As most parishioners knew, Deacon Mark and I were rather tired and brain-fogged, this morning, having been stranded on the motorway until 03:00, due to car problems. Operating on two hours sleep (one for our deacon) meant that I was rather forgetful and negligent regarding announcements.

Further to the  email sent out a few days ago, I should have reminded parishioners of services on Wednesday. As I am still rather vague and bleary, I shall just quote the previous communication.

Next Thursday is the ‘Thursday of the Great Canon’, so we will gather in Nazareth House on Wednesday evening at 19:00 to chant Thursday Matins with the whole of the Canon of St Andrew of Crete, and hear the life of St Mary of Egypt – for which reason we call Thursday ‘Maryino Stoyanie / Марьино стояние’: ‘Mary’s Standing’.

The complete text may be found at orthodoxaustin:

https://drive.google.com/…/1NesFiJDHXeGjKVeTUxBpVZ…/view

Earlier in the day, at 16:30, a moleben will be offered for the sacred brotherhood of the Holy Dormition Kiev-Caves Lavra. I will then hear confessions before matins, as well as after the service. Confessions will also be heard on Thursday for those not able to attend matins.”

I would appreciate an email from those requiring confessions on Wednesday or Thursday, as soon as possible (indicating which day). Thank you in advance!

We missed our hierodeacon today, though our loss was the cathedral’s gain, and Father Avraamy’s prayerful and precise serving at the hierarchical Liturgy was greatly appreciated. This makes us very happy, though we look forward to regaining this prayerfulness and precision in Cardiff when we celebrate the Sunday of St Mary of Egypt!

As the newly-baptised Mary will have moved to Pamplona with her husband, Jose, by the time of her nameday on 1/14 April (which is also Orthodox Good Friday), we will very much us the Sunday of St Mary as an alternative nameday, to celebrate the memory of her heavenly patron with her, also celebrating the fact that it will have been Patrick’s nameday on Thursday. So… another celebration for two of our newly-baptised parishioners.

We will celebrate the Saturday of the Akathist Hymn with a service in Llanelli on the eve – Friday night – at 19:00, then on Saturday, we will celebrate vespers after setting up the convent church at 17:00, on Saturday, and the Hours and Liturgy on Sunday at 10:40. The variables for vespers may be found at:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ue7Mb9qQY2yufG5ji21Eul691gbKfVqy/view

… and for the Liturgy:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EUzaVjn8p0q5lP1DBaukXrASacezn6sh/view

I will send a further email regarding Holy Week, during which His Grace, Bishop Irenei, has blessed the public, liturgical celebration of Holy Unction, though next year will see this reserved as a purely conciliar rite in the cathedral (on a Saturday), according to ancient tradition, by which it is celebrated by a hierarch with six of the priests of his diocese.

I must end by thanking the parish sisters, who seem to have sent me home with enough food for a week. The love shown to the parish clergy is incredible, and we are so very grateful for the love and support we receive. Dear sisters, may God bless you and reward your mercy and charity.

With love in Christ  – Hieromonk Mark

A Triple Baptism at St Nicholas-in-the-Vale

Our heartfelt congratulations go the newly-enlightened servants of God Mary, Brigid and Patrick, who received the Holy Mysteries of baptism and chrismation this afternoon at the Old Church Hall in St Nicholas-in-the-Vale.

Though we completed the service in the house, in Menna’s little oratory, the rain didn’t dampen our spirits during the exorcism prayers, the consecration of the baptismal waters, the blessing of the oil of the catechumens and their anointing, and the baptism and chrismation, which were performed outside.

The last service celebrated in the oratory was before the Wonderworking Kursk-Root icon of the Mother of God, and our neophytes appreciated this blessing from the Theotokos.

It was the first multiple baptism that we have celebrated in the parish, and we were so happy that there should be such a strong bond of love and friendship between those who received this Holy Mystery together, supporting one another in the close bonds of a Christian parish family.

With all three of those baptised, it has felt like we have always known them, though Patrick (Dan) was the only we already knew! They all came hungry for the Truth and the uncompromising fulness of Orthodox Tradition, and have been steadfast in this.

We rejoice that they will be able to participate in the fulness of our Paschal celebrations, with the added joy of Pascha being the first anniversary of George’s baptism.

We look forward to their churching before tomorrow’s Liturgy, and their communing of the Holy Mysteries of the Lord’s Body and Blood.

Many thanks to our Senior Sister Melangell for welcoming us to her home once again. We have now celebrated five baptisms there.

We pray for the Lord to grant the newly-enlightened many, blessed years!